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5 reasons you’re still trapped after domestic abuse

First published on Counselling Directory: https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/5-reasons-youre-still-trapped-after-domestic-abuse One of my pet peeves in any discussion on the subject of domestic abuse is the question: “Why doesn’t *she leave?”  It’s extremely invalidating when the question is asked directly of the victim/survivor by those to whom she turns to for support.  Indeed, it can be devastating.  It can reinforce for the victim/survivor the experience of being blamed for the abuse they are receiving.  It can re-traumatize the victim/survivor. The more appropriate question should be, “Why does *he keep doing that?”  However, exploring this question further is subject for another article. […]

By | March 7th, 2021|Categories: Uncategorised|0 Comments

Lessons from Jersey: Healing, Freedom and Being Present

Jesery taught me some principles of healing, freedom and being present … It was only two days into my holiday and it might as well have been over. My feet were hurting. Terribly. My legs were achy and wobbly, especially behind my knees. My thighs were throbbing and ankles sore. When I moved, it felt like I’d been carrying lead plastered all over my body.  […]

By | September 16th, 2018|Categories: Uncategorised|0 Comments

What is your aim for Counselling? What do you want out of it?

What is your aim for counselling? As a client, what do you want out of it? As a counsellor, why do you do it? I'd called an ‘emergency’ supervision session because I was still reeling [...]

By | August 28th, 2018|Categories: Uncategorised|Tags: , , |0 Comments

How Do You Cope with Projected Shame?

The shame we feel for failing in some way is bad enough and can keep us stuck.  See here for my earlier article on how to get unstuck from shame.  However, projected shame - the [...]

By | August 20th, 2018|Categories: Emotions|Tags: , |0 Comments

Midlife Depression: Message in a Bottle?

If your midlife depression were speaking, what would it be saying to you?  Did it come on suddenly?  Or is an old familiar friend?  In any case, could your depression be a message in a [...]

By | August 5th, 2018|Categories: Emotions, Health & Healing|Tags: , |2 Comments

How Shame Keeps You Stuck and What You Can Do About It

What a shame!  Even with the best intentions, we fall short, and feel shame.  For example, I’d had a very busy week.  Come Saturday morning, I thought I’d get up to speed with all my outstanding financial matters.   Just as I heaved a sigh of relief on completion, I received a message chasing up a payment.  I could have cried with embarrassment.   […]

By | July 16th, 2018|Categories: Emotions|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments